The most frustrating thing in the world is when you’re about to meet swingers and fulfil your fantasies only to realize that their sexual parts just are not working the way they should. It happens to men and women, but it is much more frustrating for men because it is visible and more difficult to overcome.
So what do you do when you find that you can not make your fantasy a reality due to the inability to get an erection? First, do not panic. Do not start to apologize and say “this never happens” so frustrated and let it ruin everything it could be. The great thing about balance is that it can do much more than just sex. The best thing you as an individual can do when this happens is to simply change positions and spend some time giving pleasure for women. Focus on it and you may find that your erection statements, but maybe not. The key here is that if you focus on its most likely still be lower, and they can still get some enjoyment of the evening.
Ladies, if you are in a situation where the individual has problems getting or maintaining an erection, do not make a big deal of it. Ignore him, if possible, if you make a big deal if, say it is “no big deal” and then test it, giving oral care or manually. Perhaps his attentions will help you have an erection again. If they do not, then moves to a position to give you pleasure and let you focus on something else for a while. I realize how frustrating this situation is that I have been there, but it will happen and if you do a big business that only make things worse. I have seen women who have encountered this makes a big deal out of it, even if he had been able to get erect, it has killed all the possibilities of it. Even to the point where it will take you to the next guy putting it under so much pressure to make the above type is found it creates the problem you are trying to avoid.
Many men find that although they have trouble getting an erection with another woman, they are very well when they return to their own partner, so this is also a solution. Stick to gentle rocking for a bit, and give pleasure to another woman and then return to his wife and she will help get things working again and end it. However, you may find that you have a hard time keeping it, even with his own wife. The most common reason is simply distractions. So far, you’ve been used to having sex one by one, and the only other person in the room was the person you’re having sex. And now you find distractions everywhere. Even if you are alone in a room with another couple being distracted. You are wondering what the other is doing to his wife, wondering if he is bigger than you, and I wonder if he’s doing something different. And while that’s stressing because you have this new woman in front of you, please, someone who has never been to that is probably barely know and can scare more than a little.
Some couples find that eliminating distractions is best, what it means to play in separate rooms. Others find it better to get to know their partners before playing helps a lot, because they feel more comfortable with the partners and rely more on the man who is playing with his wife. Other couples choose the path dead doctor, Viagra (or one of its cousins). If you go this route, do not be ashamed. For many, Viagra has become a recreational drug and is widely used among freeloaders, even among those who do not really need. Just make sure you use it before you can manage it medically. Please consult your doctor first and not just “borrow” a pill from a friend. Although the inability to maintain or achieve an erection is not fun, having a heart attack or suffer any other side effects of a drug can not expect to be even less fun.
Sexual dysfunction affects women, and probably just as often as men. The only difference is that for women not as visible and comes in slightly different ways. For women who usually either by the inability to produce enough lubrication personnel or the inability to achieve orgasm. The former can be easily treated by keeping a bottle of your preferred lubricant on hand. The latter is not so easy to overcome and can be as frustrating for women as the inability to achieve an erection is for a man. This is also due to distractions, whether other people in the room or the distraction of wanting to see the boy down, or be worried that she might think is too high when she orgasms, or for any other reason. This is something that costs me quite often, for me it’s all about distractions. I can not just go down in a crowded room. Even only one other couple in the room can stop down and sometimes makes me dry, just hearing another voice or wondering what’s happening to me. By far the worst is when I’m in a room with the type of person who wants to play cheerleader or coach to my sexual activities. He tells me what to do (addressing) or encouraging me (oh yeah baby, you can do it) distracted me to no end, and not just leave me unsatisfied, but completely annoying at the end of the night. Again the best I’ve found is to remove only the distractions, or just focus on the other person and accept that it might get to orgasm that night. Sometimes it’s fun just as much to be the source of some other pleasure.
Another major cause of performance issues in lifestyle is alcohol. Too much alcohol can keep a guy to have an erection, and can keep men and women to have an orgasm. Limit alcohol when you are planning to swing. Sometimes even just a couple of drinks can be too.
The reasons for performance problems vary so much that if you encounter this problem, you probably have to do some trial and error to find out what is causing it for you. Just remember, do not be embarrassed, and realize that you are not alone. Give it time, and be willing to try different things to overcome it and eventually you will be able to.
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